Monday, December 3, 2012

Terrified!

Have you ever had symptoms that you didn't want to tell your doctor? I'm scared today. This may be a little TMI, but the bleeding is increasing. I have large clots and went to use the bathroom and the inside of the toilet was covered with splashes of blood. I've never seen that before! I am also getting this weird sensation when I stand up of this tired, weak feeling in my hips and down my legs.

The reasons I don't wanna tell my doctor is 1). He'll push the hysterectomy. I'm still not sure about that. 2). What can he really do about it? I always get the same response when I tell him things...when are we gonna have this surgery? 3). I feel like I'm whining. Others have much worse symptoms that I do. I can get through this.

I'm still scared. I will not let this go for too long though. If I have to, I will call my GYN.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

When does it end?

Well today, the bleeding is picking up again. With clots!! I haven't seen a day without bleeding since September 27. I knew this cramping was because of something coming. Damn Depo Provera. I am sooo sick of this. I would like to have some time where I don't have to wear a freaking sanitary product. I would like a day, hell even a half day, with no pain. This isn't fair!!! I don't care what anybody thinks, I feel like having a kicking and screaming tantrum. Except I'm too freaking tired to do it :(. Nobody could possibly understand the drama, trauma, or distress this disease causes, unless the share the diagnosis.

Just felt like venting.